10 Evidence-Based Tips for Anyone Going Through Separation
If you’ve just separated or are in the middle of a divorce, you’re likely feeling overwhelmed, anxious, or unsure about what comes next. Separation is one of the most emotionally significant life events people experience. Research by Poortman (2007) shows that divorce is strongly linked with increased stress, anxiety, and depression—feelings that can affect your mental health, relationships, and day-to-day functioning.
With nearly half of marriages in Western countries ending in separation or divorce, many people find themselves seeking separation counselling, post-separation therapy, and professional divorce support to help them stabilise and move forward.
Here are ten evidence-based tips to help you navigate the early stages of separation, rebuild your emotional footing, and access the right support.
1. Stay connected to your support network
Isolation intensifies distress after a relationship breakdown. Staying connected to friends, family, or a trusted community is crucial. Many clients at Ray’s Room try to keep separations private, but this often increases emotional pressure. Connection provides safety and clarity—key ingredients for healing.
2. Seek professional advice
Friends mean well, but separation and divorce can be legally and emotionally complex. Speaking with trained mediators, counsellors, or therapists provides accurate, grounded guidance. Ray’s Room offers mediation services with legally trained practitioners who can help you understand your options.
3. Create daily and weekly structure
People often feel directionless after a breakup. It’s essential to feel your emotions, but also to reintroduce small routines. Plan gentle activities—coffee with a friend, a walk, or a simple to-do list. Structure supports emotional recovery.
4. Make self-care a priority
Identify your top three healthy coping strategies—journalling, mindfulness, art, time outdoors—and use them consistently. These routines regulate your nervous system and form the foundation for healing.
5. Keep moving
Physical activity boosts dopamine and reduces stress, even if it’s just a daily walk or stretching at home. Many clients in separation counselling report that movement helps them manage emotional overwhelm.
6. Acknowledge your feelings
Separation can bring grief, anger, guilt, relief, sadness—or all at once. Naming your emotions reduces intensity (Lieberman et al., 2007). Allow your feelings rather than pushing them aside.
7. Release emotions safely
Once you’ve recognised your feelings, express them in healthy ways: meditation for anxiety, exercise for anger, or a supportive cry with a trusted person. In post-separation therapy, emotional expression is a key step toward recovery.
8. Choose a “check-in” person
Select someone who will be honest with you—someone who can gently hold you accountable if you’re isolating, spiralling, or pushing too hard. Emotional accountability protects your wellbeing.
9. Set realistic post-separation goals
Think about what you want your future to look like—emotionally, financially, and practically. Break this into small, achievable steps and consider what supports (e.g., counselling, mediation, legal advice) you may need.
10. Remember that separation is temporary, not permanent
This chapter is painful, but it is a chapter. Healing takes time, but this period will pass. With professional support, clarity and stability return.
How Ray’s Room Therapy Can Help After Separation or Divorce
If you’re feeling lost, overwhelmed, or unsure how to move forward, professional support can make a significant difference. Ray’s Room Therapy offers comprehensive services for individuals, families, and couples navigating separation or divorce, including:
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Separation counselling
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Post-separation family therapy
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Divorce support therapy
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Relationship counselling
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Couples therapy
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Family therapy after separation
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Child-focused post-separation therapy
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Mediation services with legally trained practitioners
Our clinic supports clients in Lane Cove, Crows Nest, and surrounding areas. Whether you are newly separated or months into the process, our specialised therapists can help you stabilise, gain clarity, and begin rebuilding your life.
If you’re ready to feel more grounded and supported, reach out to Ray’s Room Therapy. You don’t have to navigate separation alone.
